This Final Night
by FawnspiritForever
Summary: Empty promises brand my existance. Lies blur my truths. Screams of the dying innocent ring inside my head, pounding against my skull, over and over, day and night. But if these awful, these sinful actions, are all for him... -Companion to The Last Lights-


I've always been a man of my word.

Dependable.

Faithful.

And above all extremely, extremely loyal.

So no wonder he'd seemed so content with my vow.

It makes perfect sense why he'd smile blissfully, softly close his eyes, and snuggle into my arms as I encircled them around him, the same hands resting on the small of his back that had murdered hundreds. That had crimson stains branding the flesh. He had been able to see past that, thinking I meant it.

And I tried, oh, God, I tried to keep it.

But every time I ran my calloused hands through those strands of chocolate silk, every time my gaze had fallen upon that angelic face, everytime a whisper of my name escaped those soft, sweet lips...

...it got harder and harder not to break.

I was willing to damn myself for the trembling soul in my arms. I was willing to do ANYTHING for the trembling soul in my arms.

I had just gotten a hold of the most beautiful, perfect thing to have ever walked into my life, and there was no way I was letting him slip through my fingers.

But it killed me inside to lie through gritted teeth to the one I had sworn nothing but honesty to. He'd sigh sweetly and nod, resting his head on my shoulder and palms on my chest, whispering how happy he was. How everything was perfect. How he forgave me and promised to always be there for me, as I did for him.

It shattered my heart. He wasn't telling that to me. He was telling that to the fake side of me that I put on, falling for an illusion. If he had known he would've hated me. And I wouldn't have blamed him one bit.

It all sounded so simple at first- just collect a thousand souls without being caught and bam! He's saved. It was a foolproof plan. I was a lot more clever, cunning and calculating that I let on. I had it planned, every possible detour or flaw that could've arisen mapped out and assigned a solution.

Well...almost every possible detour or flaw.

I'd carefully guide him to his bed- not an easy feat when you're naturally blind as a bat- and lie him down, gently tugging up the covers to his neck, dipping to let my lips graze his porcelain forehead, and lightly stroking the glossy, delicate locks of dusky beige until the loving rhythm lulled him to sleep.

Then, with a heavy heart and lingering gaze, I'd grab the handle of my scythe leaning against the wall and disappear into the night to get the haunting music of the dying screams of the innocents stuck in my head once more.

It's all for him, I kept reminding myself. Everything I did was. But morality was growing as blurry as my eyesight without my glasses, the only thing truly getting clearer being the lies. Sure, I was murdering, a serial killer, a fugitive wanted dead, but if it was just to help the one I love...then it's okay, right?

Right?

I didn't even know anymore. Right or wrong, I didn't care. It didn't matter. I wasn't stopping now.

How could I? With the Thorns creeping closer to his hearts and my soul count so close?

I'm so sorry for lying to you.

I did it for you.

Every lie.

Every fake smile.

Every pair of abandoned glasses.

Every stolen life...it's for you.

I love you, goddammit! Protest and beg all you want but I wasn't going to let you die!

I'd hold you close at night, capable of shutting off the stars if they threaten you!

I promise.

I PROMISE.

Promised.

I needed one more soul.

Oh, God, finally! After the lies, death, blood, just one more and he'd be saved!

And there it was.

The last soul...standing right in front of me.

The key to saving his life in rich clothes and a top hat.

Killing one so young was wrong, but at this point I had gagged my conscious and sent it to a dark corner of my mind where it couldn't guilt me anymore.

Oh, it would've been so much easier if not for that blasted demon.

None the matter...I had thrown him aside.

And there my prey was- vunulerable, exposed, completely helpless and two feet in front of me.

God was smiling at me. I must have been in his favor. Here was the end to it all. Right. Here.

I raised my saw for the fatal blow that would snap one string of line and renew another, winding it up for maximal power.

And then I struck down.

Everything happened so quickly I had absolutely no time to react nor prevent my actions. All I had known at that moment- the briefest of moments- was that I had not hit my desired target...but a flash of milk chocolate, pitch black and moonlight white instead, watching it crumple to the ground.

For a moment I was too stunned to do anything or even process anything. What-? What happened? What was that?

And then it hit me.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, oh God, no. No no no no no no PLEASE let this be an illusion! Let it be my eyes deceiving me! Let it be a practical joke as a punishment and I didn't do what I thought I did.

I...I couldn't have.

I dropped to my knees in horror, wrapping my arms around the body, turning the face oh-so-gently so the vacant chartreuse eyes, glazed, fell upon me.

I could hear the painful crackle of my heart splitting, blistering, splintering inside my chest, dissipating into a vacuum of matter.

I had finally collected one thousands souls and yet I had failed.

The thousandth souls was his.

There were no words that could possibly describe my feelings. None that could even come CLOSE. Sorrow of the blackest night, bluest song of the fallen imaginable.

I had murdered nine hundred ninety nine for the one I had just killed.

I didn't realize I was crying until the salty stream hit his cheek.

And I didn't realize how hard I was crying until the sobs jarred my body.

I wrapped my weak, cursed arms around the frail shell of a life form I had devoted my life to saving, trembling.

He was still warm.

My existence was meaningless. I had no reason to go on living.

I was so grief-stricken I couldn't think clearly anymore. I dipped my head to brush my fingertips so gently across the sweet cheekbones that used to smile at me when life was perfect as I screamed his name, delusional in essence that he would maybe, just maybe, respond.

And so I asked the most selfish thing possible- to be killed myself.

The red eyes laughed and purred with amusement as the head nodded in agreement. He had won. He had every right to be smug. I had failed.

I didn't want to be killed with his own weapon. He wouldn't want my filthy, lying blood dirtying his scythe.

But there were no alternatives.

I felt the blade slash across my back and the worse pain known to the universe sting every blood cell in my body until my insides were on fire.

And then...nothing.

Black.

For him.

I kept reminding myself that.

I braced myself to see the crooked grin of the devil greeting me for the marring sins staining my life, but none came.

Vertigo swirled around me, the last thing I would ever feel.

And I never even told him I loved him...

* * *

**A/N: So I got bored one day in class and we had freetime. Some kids were like "I'm going on YouTube!". Some kids were like "I'm going on Google maps!". I'm like "I'm going to write something depressing with Alan and Eric! ^3^" ...Yeah I have issues. Anyway, this is basically The Last Lights in Eric's POV. Playing around with styles, could've done better, I guess. (God it's so repetitive. But I did manage to make my friend cry with this, so...is that a good thing?) 5 hours on an online thesaurus does wonders. XD Well, enjoy and review~ Thanks for reading!**

**Eric and Alan belong to Yana Toboso**


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